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"Do You Have to Earn Love & Trust in a Relationship?"

Trust is DEFINITELY a huge hot button for many of us. 

If there's been a betrayal, broken promises or intentional lies, that hot button can turn into a big old trigger and result in many walls of protection getting put firmly into place. Can you relate? 

  • How easily do you trust others? 
  • Is it harder in an intimate relationship? 
  • How easily do you trust yourself?

Despite what we've been taught, trust is not something to be earned, even when it's been broken by someone in your life. Trust is given. It's a choice we make. When we, out of fear, decide we don't want to be hurt again and set about making someone "earn" it back, we've now moved into keeping a scorecard. 

And then what? 

When will you know it's been earned back? How long will that take? What kinds of things count / don't count? When will you decide you can stop monitering it? When can you let go and relax? 

See how disempowering this is? (and how much work it creates?)

Trust is aways your choice, not theirs. 

You may decide you don't want to offer that gift.  You may decide that you're going to use your wise discernment for a period of time to see how things unfold and if actions match words.  You may engage in meaningful, honest conversations that deepen the understanding of what happened to break down the trust and why.  And my hope, is that through it all, you remain commited to being vulnerable, open hearted and taking risks that could add even more Love and connection to your life.

This requires trusting one key person - yourself.

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