How Big is Your 'BRAVE'?

How Big is Your 'BRAVE'?

As I sat this morning in the spiritual center that I visit when I travel to New Mexico, I was not surprised when a young girl, 9 years old, maybe, joined the adult choir, coming up to the mic and belting out the lyrics, “Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out, honestly I wanna see you be BRAVE!” Bravery. Or the lack of it, has seemed to be the theme for me all week long, starting last Sunday evening in the mountain town of Jemez, NM. Late in the evening, my friend and I spontaneously loaded ourselves back into the car, returning to a huge boulder from which some local hot springs gushed forth in the hopes of anchoring a powerful conversation around “brave next steps” with a bold giving forth of ourselves to the night sky. With one tiny flashlight, we scaled the huge rock formation, mostly by feel, laid back in the pitch black, grabbed each other’s hands and stared up at the most impressive night sky you could ever imagine. The utter silence and mind-blowing constellations spoke truths to our hearts, open wide enough to hear them.

By Tuesday though, my clients and I both had gone into some kind of intense fear place that had no real name. While I’m skilled at helping them maneuver their way back through to a crack of light at the end of the tunnel, I’m not as great at navigating that dark terrain myself without support. It built. The exciting, yet challenging new business project that I’d spent weeks getting clear on put a knot in my stomach. A recent betrayal from a man I cared about and had forgiven, suddenly felt fresh again. I felt scared that the guidance I’d been clearly given to let go of my place and make a temporary move to NM was not to be trusted. Finding a solid foundation to stand on when fear has you lassoed around the neck can seem impossible!

I know to breathe. And to meditate. And to feel into the “strangle hold.” And to be patient.

This is the beauty of meditation. Sit long enough and what needs to be revealed will be, if we only will love ourselves enough to be quiet.

Ash Wednesday arrived in the middle of fear week. I push past every bit of uncomfortableness rising up and literally drag myself to a Catholic church (no, I’m not Catholic) in the hopes of engaging with the season of Lent in a way that brings me some soothing. The ashes on my forehead do little other than remind me as I pass a mirror that I am getting desperate. Fear builds on itself, as fear does, when you allow it to begin creating low grade anxiety. Random thoughts begin to float through my mind about my son’s upcoming wedding and what ridiculous family “issue” could ruin the day. Thursday brings my deceased Mom’s birthday and while she was one of the most beautiful, kind and fun loving women I’ve ever known, I am reminded that the amount of fear she carried with her on a daily basis was toxic and kept her from doing anything that even resembled an act of bravery.

Another night of tossing and turning.   If you know me, then you know one of my weaknesses is that I can still be hard on myself. While others gripped in fear might shrink back and become paralyzed, my go-to place is to crack the whip on myself in the hopes of sparking some kind of manufactured motivation that will “snap me out of it.” It’s familiar. Thank you, Dad. And, because it’s worked at times, I still try this tactic first instead of simply taking my own hand and walking to my meditation cushion.

By Friday, because I’m obviously losing this battle, I say outloud in my meditation, “For God’s sake! You can’t seriously want me to be in this lousy place! Help! Please!”

And in the silence... the all-encompassing silence, where everything we ever need, hope for, long to have laid in our hands or lean desperately toward in our angst………….. I hear……………….


”Be brave.

Be bold.

Life is sacred and you think you have time to waste on nonsense.

You have no time to waste.

Fear is your nonsense.

Your desires are Divine sparks to be lit up full.

Build a bonfire with your hearts desires and dance under those stars!”


The fear melts. I swear I can feel it run down my body and pool in a muddy puddle at my feet.


“Everybody’s been there,

Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy

Fallen for the fear

And done some disappearing,

Bow down to the mighty

Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue”


Show me how big your BRAVE is...

Want Love? It's Simple. Breathe.

Want Love? It's Simple. Breathe.

The month of February in general, along with Valentine's week, always brings a rush of new clients eagerly looking for coaching in the hopes of  attracting more love into their lives. They want love, but their New Year resolution to create real change in this particular area has already gotten pushed to the bottom of the list and then Valentine's Day stares them squarely in the face.  Oh, yah, that. Whether you are coming out on the other side of a tough breakup and believe that the way to get past the pain is to "jump back in", are dating, wondering how to "sort and screen" wisely or are in a committed relationship or marriage, but can't imagine spending another year flatlining,  it all comes down to one thing: breathing.

Yes, breathing.

After spending 3 hours last Sunday with Gurubachan at his  BREATHE gathering, I am more convinced than ever before, that our breath is what will carry us to the love that we are seeking.

This is the place to start.

I have meditated myself for years, encouraging my clients to sit quietly and include this practice in their lives as a way to connect more fully to their own inner wisdom as they navigate change.  I was reminded though,  in a powerful way, that intentionally slowing down our breathing long enough, and regularly enough, so that we can bypass our crazy, frenetic mind is the way to begin training our thoughts.  It's not just sitting in the silence.  Most of my friends and clients have heard me say for years, "Your mind is not your friend!"  And while we know this, experience on a daily basis that chattering, fearful voice in our head that seems hell bent on scaring us to death out of protection and understand detaching from it is helpful, we don't take is as seriously as we need to.

Slowing down the breath, daily, can give you the ability to calm those constantly rising fears, soothe the nervous system and hear the voice of your Soul speaking lovingly of it's deepest desires, allowing a new sense of vitality to rise from within.  Imagine how this can support your journey toward more love in your life, as the fears, confusion and blocks are released!

Still experiencing deep hurt from a past relationship, but would love to meet someone new?

Slowing down the breath each day will do two important things -  it will help you go around the "stories" your mind keeps replaying so that you can feel the peace and healing that is being offered to you.  It will also unblock stuck hurt that breathing 20-30 times a minute, like we normally do when we are stressed, keeps in place.

Scared to try dating again because you've attracted unhealthy relationships in the past and aren't sure you can set clear boundaries?

Breathing slowly and allowing your physical body to come into a deep rhythm helps you tap into your true power, your core energy and strengthens every single aspect of yourself (mind/body/spirit)  You will have greater clarity and set boundaries with less difficulty when you ground in this way.

Longing for the loving feeling you had with your partner when you first came together?  Not sure whether you are "falling out of love' or whether there are things you could be doing to ignite that spark again?

Practicing each day, to slow down the breath, will help you access the deepest part of you and hear your Souls Divine whisperings.  Love is love.  We don't fall in and out of it.  When we slow ourselves down, our thoughts follow and our hearts respond.  From this inner sanctuary, we hear where to grow, what is calling for healing and how to expand.  From that place we are given ways to "show up" in our lives that create more loving connection,  acceptance and bring lightness, ease and actual joy to all of our relationships!

I offer you this breathing meditation that I was gifted with again this last week, in the hopes that you will join me for 11 minutes each day, to create profound love in your life~

Self love - Love of others - Love as service ~


MEDITATION - stress relief & clearing the emotions of the past

Effects - increases vitality, stress relief, clearing emotions of the past

Posture - Sit in a comfortable meditative posture with a straight spine, chin in and chest lifted

Hand position - Put your hands in front of your chest with the tips of the thumbs touching each other and each of the fingers touching the corresponding fingers on the opposite hand.  There is a space between the palms.  The fingers are pointing upward.

Breath - Breath 4 times per minute:  Inhale through nostrils 5 seconds, hold 5 seconds and exhale through nostrils 5 seconds.

Time - 11 minutes or until you feel relief

*Thank you and blessings to Gurubachan


I would love to hear from you in the comments about how your practice is going and what positive effects you are seeing!  Big love,