Father’s Day Musings

Father and son black and white.jpg

Hey Dads….. pause for a moment to realize how truly important you are in your child’s life. You could be having a powerful, positive influence on them or be causing deep hurt, due to your own emotional immaturity and inner pain. Maybe you’re dying to help create a stronger bond and meeting resistance. Possibly you’ve given up or have convinced yourself that your presence in their lives doesn’t matter.

One way or the other, whether they are tiny or full grown, whether you see them every day or haven’t laid eyes on them in 2 years, your children are impacted by your presence or lack of it and by the love you share unconditionally or continue to withhold.

To all of the fathers I know who are trying their hardest to foster a connection and love their kids, stay the course. To any of you who tell me it doesn’t matter, your kids will be fine without you, I can’t emphasize enough how misguided this belief is. Get back in the game. For your own emotional well-being and for theirs.

Unconditional love from a parent is the soothing balm that goes straight to a child’s soul. They can’t tell you that. Don’t confuse this kind of love with tolerating behavior you refuse to entertain. These are two very different things.

Love can always remain at the forefront and slid as a love note under the firmly shut door.

And to all the Dad’s I’ve had in my own life - one toxic, some resilient, one who “saved” me, another who showed me what dedicated love for a child not of one’s own flesh could look like, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know what it’s like to walk this wild journey called being a “Mom.” I believe the walk of “Father” may carry additional challenges in our world.

Please keep going. Know you are needed desperately.

And know we all send you and your children Love.

(And women, please……I am asking you from the bottom of my heart to support the men in your lives, to never block healthy connection, to celebrate any and all bonds that are trying to be forged and to lift up the men in your lives – including “ex’s” – so that they may continue to grow, change, awaken and lead their younger men toward wholeness)

Big love to you all ~ Barb