How Low Is The Bar?

How low or high is the bar in your life?

What do I mean by that? 

Well, how low is the bar when you are dating or hoping to find the “love of your life?” This week I had a friend tell me “I’m simple. I don’t care about much of anything. He just needs to be tall and nice.”


How low or high is the bar when you think about expanding your business into new, exciting areas? Do you allow your creative juices to flow and entertain a full day retreat, including that local band you have a connection with, for entertainment or do you say holding a 1 hour phone teaching will be enough?

Trust me, I’m talking to myself here too, which is how I write everything! If a topic during the week seems to come up over and over with clients and also grabs me around the ankles, I know we all have something to look at that might be helpful.

What seems to happen is that we move through a series of “stuck” places in our lives and in our relationships, make no real movement, beat up on ourselves, get prodded by others to do something, then finally get so sick of our stagnation that we decide to  “just take ANY baby step” and call it good. And yes, I absolutely believe in baby steps and their ability to begin some solid forward movement.

But they also can be a place to hide behind. Baby step taken. I feel better about myself. I’m going to appreciate myself for getting into action, no matter how small. Done.

This is a surefire way to end right back up at the beginning – Stuck.

You know how we all hear those sayings like:

  • “Do what scares the crap out of you and see what happens!"
  • “Always go with the choice that scares you most!”
  •  “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”
  • “Do the one thing you think you cannot do!”  

After the initial burst of inspiration, how do you feel? Can you remain excited and swiftly move into a big action, or do you deflate quickly out of fear?

Can you begin setting the bar “high” and then keep moving toward it, holding the fear and excitement and roller coaster ride of emotions so that something BIG shifts or not?

And if not, why not?

Does just reading this and actually seeing the pattern give you the necessary boost to try taking what feels like a big risk? Can you remember a time that you threw caution to the wind and did just that? How empowering did it feel and what kind of inner strength and resilience did it add to your “toolkit?” Remembering the times in the past that I set the bar really high out of exasperation with myself, said some form of “Screw it” and took the leap ALWAYS helps fire me up to do it again!

What if you considered setting the bar “high” and:  

  • Finally left that sucky, painful relationship for good instead of taking a baby step by seeing him a little less?
  • Decided to hold fast to your own powerful Honor Code in every interaction you have with others, instead of being glad you “at least didn’t start yelling.”
  • Stopped gossiping altogether versus taking a small step to not tear a person down in a mean-spirited way.
  • Went ahead and took the money, paid for the community center in advance and announced the gathering/retreat/workshop/gig you were holding 60 days from today!
  • Quit the job that weighs so heavily on you instead of taking another baby step to see if one more conversation could change the culture of your team.

Over and over you hear me say, “Life is short.” 

I just had a client say to me that if she got a particular diagnosis back, she was going to sell her home and move to the European city she’s been longing to move to. The news was good. I asked, “Are you still going to move to your dream city?”

What would your answer be?

What are you waiting for? What would it take today, to set the bar really, really high in your life, whatever that means to you? Are you willing to risk it? What have you got to lose, really? 

I’m spending some time answering this for myself this week. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Big love,