REVOLUTIONARY LOVE It's not just the cool, new name of my business and FB page.
My mission... my burning passion... the thing that drives me during the day and at times, keeps me staring at the ceiling at night, is figuring out ways to help people really, truly "revolutionize" the way they love!
Which means this: how you move "OUT" of love... whether that painful transition of a breakup is handled like a trooper with the most integrity and grace that you can muster or whether you succumb to drama, mud slinging and plant yourself in victim-hood, is your call.
Revolutionizing your love means revolutionizing YOU, from the inside out. It also means being committed to doing it when it's hard - really hard. When you think it can't get harder and then it does. And when you're sure that you've been through the worst and then find, nope. Not yet.
What's that damn saying? Something about "It's not hard to act well when things are going well. How do you act when things are falling apart?"
Over the span of my years I have loved. I have lost. I've loved again. I've run the gamut from acting like a complete ass, early on, to stumbling as I tried to honestly do things different, while my personal and spiritual growth grew. Thankfully, I pulled off some amazingly mature behavior in the face of some pretty ugly acting out from a partner, during my last go-around. (Whew! There's also wisdom that comes from clocking in some years on this planet)
And you know what? While that ending included the most dramatic, painful BS I've ever experienced from a partner and pray to God you, yourself, never have to go through, it ended up being one of the most affirming, solid, grounded times in my life. Why? Because I held to these things - things that I now routinely offer to my clients:
1. Decide immediately who you are going to BE throughout the ending, then SPEAK IT out-loud to friends, who will actually hold your feet to the fire.
2. Look for both the big growth opportunity being presented to you and the Universe's message about why you were here in the first place and FOCUS ON THAT DAILY. Every time you move toward blame, criticism and the "Look what you are doing to me!" mindset, simply say to yourself "Hold on. This is about me. Why was I here?" then get back to work with your journal.
3. Make a commitment to NOT use social media to vent, bitch, process, try and get sympathy, or for God's sake revenge. Respect the privacy of you both. And by the way; NO ONE FEELS COMFORTABLE READING THAT CRAP.
4. Set boundaries quickly when necessary, stop conversations the moment they begin heading south so you can revisit them later and remind yourself and your partner in every interaction, that your goal is to navigate the ending with as much integrity and mutual respect as possible. Just saying that out-loud can many times result in a quick course correct.
While these guiding principles will lay the foundation for a less painful breakup, there is one key thing, if embraced fully, that can make a profound difference in how this plays out for you:
IT ONLY MATTERS HOW -YOU- SHOW UP TO THIS LOVELY LITTLE PARTY.
When my clients focus on their "soon to be former's" behavior, they stay in the story, which means they stay in the pain. When they keep their eyes firmly on how they are "showing up" and commit to remaining in alignment with the highest and best they can pull off, NO MATTER WHAT, interestingly enough, there is some honest- to- goodness peace that is created in that sacred place.
Will you Revolutionize YOURSELF, so you can Revolutionize Your Love?
LET'S DO THIS DIFFERENT!